Are You Freaking Out?

Web Site Feature Frenzy

Do things look a little different? They should. Not very different. Just a little. Because there's been a few changes here and there around Kaiju.com, with plenty more on the way. And what are these new features? First off, we've made the front page a little wider. We here at Kaiju.com realize that while it may be a little presumptuous to assume most of our users have bought a computer in the last 10 years, chances are you're running at least a 1024 by 768 resolution by now, right? Hopefully this makes things a little less cluttered. Expect more pages around the site to get wider eventually. Secondly, there's a new banner! It's for More Better Fighto! Celebrate the birth of More Better Fighto DVD Banner by buying the More Better Fighto DVD. Hooray!

And finally, (one of) you asked for it, and you got it! That's right, a Kaiju.com RSS Feed! It's looking a little bare at the moment, but now you can subscribe to our RSS Feed and find out all the latest Kaiju Big Battel updates! What's that, you say? You just check the front page every Monday and that's it? But what if Tuesday comes and a monster chokes to death on a pretzel? You're gonna wait seven days to find out, after everyone else already knew because the RSS feed broke the news first? While it just so happens that most Kaiju news conveniently happens over the weekend and gets reported on a Monday, do you really want to be left out when breaking news actually happens? Your body may be saying "I don't know if I can handle any more web updates," but your heart is saying you want more. Don't fret; there's plenty more on the way, so keep checking back!

It's Trophy Time!

It's the middle of December, and that means seemingly everyone across the world has to come up with some sort of contrived "Best Of 2008" or "Year-End Award" baloney that no one cares about. But for the next two weeks, exclusively on Kaiju.com, we're going to flip the internet world upside down with the most exciting online event since ARPAnet was first introduced in 1969. That's right, it's time for The 27th Annual Kaiju Big Battel Best of 2008 Year-End Awards!

It's all very simple. Below, we've presented a ballot with five categories. Simply choose the winner in each category amongst the five nominees and mail your ballot to vote@kaiju.com. You have until 11:59 PM EST, Saturday, December 27th to vote, and the winners will be announced the following Monday, December 29th.

Remember, you're voting based on 2008 alone. It doesn't matter what happened in 2007 or what you think will happen in 2009, you're only voting on what took place in the seven Battels of 2008. One ballot per email address. This is all very serious, and tomfoolery will not be tolerated. Anyway, the nominees are listed below, so get voting!

And the Nominees Are...

BEST NEWCOMER
Most impressive amongst those who made their Kaiju debut in 2008

-Hero Intern '08
-Nikkuman
-Scab #1
-Scab #2
-Call-Me-Thurston

BEST TANDEM TEAM
Best two-person team in Kaiju through 2008

-Furious Furries (The Grudyin and Tucor)
-American Beetle and Neo Teppen
-The Sea Amigos (Unibouzu and D.W. Cycloptopuss III)
-Yokosuka Jump Squadron (Super Wrong and Dusto Bunny)
-The Super Salbino Bros (Andy Salbino and Nick Salbino)

CALL-ME-KEVIN AWARD
Biggest loser amongst those who failed to win a match in 2008

-Dai Hachi Hachi
-Super Wrong
-Giii the Space Pirate
-Yarsminko
-Jimmy Sprinkles

PABLO PLANTAIN MEMORIAL AWARD
Most shocking moment of 2008

-Referee Jingi is injured by D.W. Cycloptopuss III (Providence)
-Yarsminko and Swarm attempt to eat French Toast (Boston)
-Dr. Cube locks Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder in meat freezer, freezes pipes (Podunk)
-Zombie Pablo goes berserk, attacks Powa Ranjuru, Pedro Plantain and Nikkuman (Brooklyn)
-Furious Furries cripple Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear (Brooklyn)

KAIJU OF THE YEAR
Most impressive 2008 campaign

-Neo Teppen (5-2, held Kaiju Championship and Double Danger Tandem Titles)
-Uchu Chu (4-2, held Kaiju Championship and Le European Championship)
-The Grudyin (4-2, held Double Danger Tandem title)
-Hero Intern '08 (4-2 in rookie year)
-Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder (3-0, remains undefeated in Kaiju career)

Once again, ballots can be sent to vote@kaiju.com and votes will be accepted until 11:59 PM EST, Saturday, December 27th. If you're going to vote in one election this year, make sure it's this one!

Questions of the Week

Is it too late to transfer to Ninja High School for the Spring semester? Will they accept my credits?

Vegetius Santa Ready to Crush Your Mailbox

For years, Kaiju fans have targeted two things in their mind that they love more than anything; Santa Claus and Vegetius. Even our Jewish fans think Vegetius is awesome. And for the longest time, artists, fans and crazed stalkers tried to combine their passions into one beautiful work of art.

The problem was, most folks attempted to draw Santa as some sort of malformed turtle-bird hybrid creature, with stretched skin and an ugly shell glued to the back of Jolly St. Nick. Quite frankly, it was disturbing. But Kaiju artist Yoriko Shiraishi had the much better idea of putting Vegetius in Santa's clothes, and quite frankly, we're kinda upset that we didn't think of it first. It seems so simple!

The result, this limited edition Vegetius Santa Greeting Card, is something that needs to arrive in your mailbox, like, right now. And when you recieve it, you should immediately put your name on it and a friend's name on it, then mail it to that friend and let them know you're thinking of them in this holiday season. Or, if you have no friends, make up someone else's name and pretend they sent it to you. We've thought all of this out. We totally have you covered. So go to the Kaiju Mall and check it out. It's $3.00, which means even if the economy's bad, you have no excuse.

News, Notes and Rumor Roundup

Super Wrong has placed ads on Craigslist looking for web designers to build a website for himself. The leader of the Yokosuka Jump Squadron had stated his desire in the past to create a social networking site in which users sign up to be friends with him, but the injury to Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear appeared to have distracted him.
For the 10th year in a row, Ferbs Magazine has listed Kaiju Big Battel in its Top 15 Most Successful Companies of the Year list, finishing 12 spots ahead of long-time rival ZapCo, makers of such games as "Monogamy" and "Don't Wake Daddy's Hungry Hippos With A Mouse Trap". The Kaiju Commissioner was unavailable for comment.
Cast off by Team Space Bug and rejected by the Yokosuka Jump Squadron, Dai Hachi Hachi appears to have finally found a home. After accidentally swallowing a bag of marbles, DHH was spotted in the hospital by Yankees GM Brian Cashman, who mistook him for injury-prone pitcher Ben Sheets and immediately signed him to a 5-year, $200 million contract.