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TV Pilot Battel Lineup Announced!

Kaiju takes over the Avalon Boston on February 21st for Kaiju Big Battel: The TV Pilot, and the fighto lineup has now been revealed. In the new Kaiju Podfighto (Episode 8), Louden Noxious runs down the whole Battel lineup, and dishes out all the Battel dirt. Listen now (or read below if you don't dig on digital audio), then head over to ticketmaster.com or any Ticketmaster location to get your ticket to be part of Kaiju TV history.

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Kaiju Big Battel: The Pilot
With musical guests Peelander-Z
When: Wednesday, February 21st, 2007. Doors at 7:00pm; Show at 8:00pm
Where: Avalon Boston, 15 Lansdowne St. Boston, MA
Tickets: Available at ticketmaster.com and all Ticketmaster locations.
All Ages. $15.25

Be a part of Kaiju TV history!

Big Battel Lineup

Trans-Atlantic Grudge Match
Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder vs French Toast

The buffet spread at Colorado Governor Bob Ritter's inauguration celebration was a chance for the new king of the rocky mountain state to show his worldliness with an international smorgasbord. The spread featured chicken kung-pow, kielbasa burritos, corned beef and cabbage, and tofu samosas, but nowhere in this U.N. of deliciousness was there a delegate from culinary powerhouse France! Enraged, Paris' top chefs dispatched a two thousand ton, raspberry-bereted breakfast beast known only as French Toast to teach the Governor a lesson in civics. But before French Toast gets the Gov, he'll have to get past Colorado's new protector - Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder!

Double Danger Tandem Championship
Apes of Wraths Vs Sea Amigos

The all-new Kaiju Double Danger Tandem Championship Title is up for grabs tonight! Dr. Cube's greatest tag team of terror, The Apes of Wraths, are back and determined to get their stinky mitts on the new DDT Belts. Cube's unholy alliance will be challenging the Sea Amigos in tonight's inaugural tag team title fighto. The rules are simple: the first fighters to capture the Tag Team Belts from the top of the titanium "Danger" poles will be declared the new Double Danger Tandem Champions.

Amazon River Street Fighto
Pedro Plantain Vs the Evil Silver Potato

Pedro Plantain has a bone to pick with Silver Potato. Not only did the former Hero murder Pedro's beloved twin brother, Pablo, but he also killed the greatest tag team in all of Kaiju history! Shame on the traitor tator! To add insult to injury, rumors have it that Dr. Cube stole Pablo's cold body right from his grave. Pedro wants revenge against the evil Potato and his sinister master, Dr. Cube. In accordance with the international laws of the "Street Fight," anything goes in this no-holds-barred Battel of vengeance! Weapons, bricks, poisoned toothpicks, battery acid... all is fair in tonight's Amazon River Street Fighto!

Mocky Tomb of Doom
Dusto Bunny vs Super Wrong

After being voted the biggest loser in Kaiju Big Battel history, Super Wrong broke his ties to the Kaiju Heroes and set off to create a new Kaiju faction, the Yokusuka Jump Squadron. Unfortunately for Super Wrong, so far no one has joined his silly little fight club. Tonight, wise old sage Hero Dusto Bunny will try to put an end to Super Wrong's drama and force him back into the Hero ranks. But there's a catch! If Dusto loses tonight's contest, he will have to join the Jump Squad and leave the Heroes behind. Such a high stakes Battel must be fought under the most serious of stipulations - the Mocky Tomb of Doom! First fighter locked in the air-tight Mocky box loses! Don't get sloppy, this is for TV - the lid must be securely shut to make the win official.

Kaiju Championship Battel
Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle vs Opponent of His Choice

Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle has risen from the ranks of the Rogues, to become Kaiju Champion. After winning a four-way dance at All Out War, Soup has earned the right to pick his opponent at tonight's Big Battel, and Kaiju are coming out of the woodwork demanding a shot at Soup and their chance at television stardom: Dr. Cube, Unibouzu, Neo Teppen, Tadd Braddley Hawaiian Paddler, Begrizzled Theordore - these are just a few of the Kaiju combatants chomping at the bit. The always enigmatic Soup will wait until he enters the Big Ring to select his opponent, but whomever the killer can picks, they will be fighting for the greatest prize in the Big Battel - the Kaiju Championship Belt!

Broke as a Joke?

Are you too poor to go to Battel? Well, you prayers have been answered. Thanks to a joint partnership between WFNX and the Kaiju Battel Scholarship Fund, you can win tickets to the upcoming Battel by listening to WFNX or by entering online at wfnx.com.

Famous All Out War

Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle gets to pick his opponent at Kaiju Big Battel: The TV Pilot thanks to his victory at All Out War. Now you can relive this epic vicory over Dr. Cube, the evil Silver Potato, and Pedro Plantain in a brand new Famous Battel Bideo - All Out War Four Way Battel.

Free Pilot Poster

In celebration of Kaiju's media milestone and all the potential goodness that goes with taping a TV pilot, the Kaiju Commissioner will include a free glossy 11"x17" Kaiju Big Battel: The TV Pilot event poster with any Kaiju print ordered from the Kaiju Mall. Offer good while supplies last.

A Kaiju Valentine's Celebration

Many have speculated that romance is dead in the Kaiju universe. This rumor has been sparked by the fact that very few Kaiju have ever been known to date. Most blame the dearth of romance on the constant need to conquer and/or save the world from other Kaiju, but others suspect that all Kaiju, be they Rogue, Hero, Space Bug, or Posse, are too enamored of themselves. This excessive self-love seems to have left no room for any alliance or dalliance. Certainly, there is an occasional liaison, like the one that once existed between Silver Potato and Anna Dramina. There's even a tryst or two, like the triangle between American Beetle, Mung Wun and Uchu Chu, but like most high school romances, these amorous associations tend to end in death or baby mama drama. With the halls of CVS decked out in red and pink, this seems as good a time as any to discover how the average Kaiju celebrates the holiday of love.

Something that may go a long way toward explaining the scarcity of passion in the Kaijuniverse was the response by the Kaiju Commissioner to this article. When asked by kaiju.com to comment on the specifics of a Kaiju Valentine, the Commissioner exclaimed "What do you mean? I thought that we had agreed not to exchange gifts this year!"

The Trouble with Dribbles

The situation inside the Avalon Boston time slip seems to have become even more treacherous. The crackerjack team of timologists at C.A.S.I.O. (Chronaton Anomaly Surveillance and Inspection Organization) led by Dr. Tag Hoyer has been working around the clock to research all the possible consequences of the massive tear in the universe. Heuer recently held a press conference to announce that according to his calculations, there is a very real chance that, due to the instability of the time slip, alternate realities may be dribbling into the time-slipped Lansdowne club.

Hoyer stated that "there is currently a precarious confluence of corrosive conditions inside Avalon. These conditions are not only conducive to the reversal of time, they are also favorable to alternate universe seepage." Hoyer went on to describe some of the possible side-effects of the alternate reality overlap, including males spontaneously sprouted goatees, women suddenly discovering that their hair had been shorn and colored blonde, and the appearance of unexplained facial cuts with prominent bandaging.

When asked to elaborate on the specifics of which alternate realities could be seeping into Avalon, Heuer stated "The possibilities are limitless. Personally, I am hoping to catch a glimpse of a universe where Arrested Development and Firefly weren't cancelled. But considering that SDS-1 created this particular time slip, I would look for oddities, twists, turns, and never-before-seen action at the upcoming Kaiju Big Battel."

Ask the Commissioner

Yo Commish,

What can we expect at the Avalon Battel? And thanks for doing this Battel in Boston!

-David

Dear David,

The upcoming Kaiju Big Battel is a very special event. In case you haven't heard, it's being filmed for Kaiju's TV pilot on G4 TV! I can guarantee that every Kaiju who steps foot in the Big Ring tonight will be fighting not just for the usual reasons (fame, fortune, their lives), but for a chance at international television stardom!

While we have taken every measure to ensure nothing goes wrong on this most monumental of nights, Team Space Bug has stolen Cube's Super Dimensional Slug and engulfed the Avalon in a highly volatile time slip. Don't be alarmed if your watch starts spinning in reverse, your new Van Halen tattoo disappears, or your ex suddenly shows up on your arm. The time slip will dissipate by night's end, but in the meantime the events of October's Shpadoinkel Mania XVIII have been wiped out, and Sky Deliver's egg is safely back in the hands of Team Space Bug and their Battel-banned leader Uchu Chu!

It's no accident that Kaiju Big Battel: The TV Pilot is filming in Boston. We are so very excited about the prospects of a Kaiju TV series, and its only fitting that we film the pilot in Kaiju's hometown. Boston has been very generous in their support of Kaiju over the years and I wouldn't want to hold this momentous Big Battel anywhere else. There will be no WACK fighting tonight! This Battel will feature the most intense Kaiju combat ever, and the difference between who walks out a winner and who walks out a loser, may be determined by your support. So don't hold back - cheer the Heroes with reckless abandon and boo Dr. Cube right out of town!

Your Friend,
Kaiju Commissioner

PS: Don't forget to bring your clever fan signs and to dress up for you chance to be on the TV!

Do you have a question for the Kaiju Commissioner? Email your questions direct to commissioner@kaiju.com.

Interns Wanted

Do you have what it takes to protect the world from giant city-crushing monsters? Then the Kaiju Commissioner wants you! Video, web, design, and office Interns wanted now. Check out the Kaiju Jobs page for full descriptions.

Upcoming Anime Con Screenings

The Kaiju Anime Con world tour continues with sneak peak screenings of the upcoming More Better Fighto DVD at the following cons this winter/ spring:

March 2-3 at Nohcon in Buffalo, NY
March 17-18 at Momocon in Atlanta, GA
March 31 at Chibi Fest in Las Vegas, NV
May 5-6 at SyndiCon 2006 in Valpairso, IN

The Kaiju Anime Club is growing fast, and we're always looking for new member clubs. If your club is interested in joining, please sign up today, or email eric@kaiju.com for more info.

Question of the Week

Who's the new co-host?