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Kaiju Big Battel
Uchu vs Teppen

This is the Ultimate Showdown

Uchu vs Teppen Official For Final Time

The world of Kaiju is buzzing from last week's big announcement of Kaiju in 3-D, the upcoming extravaganza live from Brooklyn, NY on April 3rd. Although we haven't heard anything from the Kaiju Commissioner yet, the Kaiju Regulatory Commission has informed us that the main event for Brooklyn will be what many Kaiju fans have been clamoring for; the rubber match between Uchu Chu and Neo Teppen for the Kaiju Championship. And this time, it will be the final match between the two, no matter who wins!

This has been a match in the making since at least June of last year, when Teppen and Uchu traded victories, and the Kaiju Championship, in Shpadoinkelmania VII and Escape to NY. Both matches came with their fair share of interference, from both Team Space Bug and Powa Ranjuru, although in both instances, the outnumbered party seemed to get the win anyway. Fate intervened in their last attempted rematch, but this time, there will be no distractions. And to settle the debate once and for all, the KRC has decided that there will be no rematch after this; if Uchu Chu loses and wants another shot at Teppen's title, he'll have to wait for someone to take it from him first, and vice versa if Uchu wins.

This match will bring a definite conclusion to one of the most storied rivalries in Kaiju Big Battel history. This is going to be one heck of a battel, but there's only one way to see it!

Kaiju in 3-D*
*Glasses not included
When: Fri, April 3rd, 8:00 PM
Where: Warsaw at the Polish National Home, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Tickets: $20, available at Ticketmaster

Heroes Announce Tourney Teams

We're only days away from the kickoff of Kaiju Double Danger Tandem Tournament, and our last group of competitors probably should've been obvious from the start, but the Kaiju Commissioner apparently decided to keep us here at Kaiju.com in the dark. With today being the deadline for team entry, the Kaiju Heroes helped us out and formed teams on their own.

As mentioned before, as one half of the former Tandem champions, and one who lost the titles controversially, American Beetle was already guaranteed a spot in the tournament with a partner of his choosing. Beetle has named his partner, and it's none other than the Hawaiian Paddler Tadd Bradley. Bradley's been in a little bit of trouble recently, as he is still under investigation for his potential role in January's Hudson River Plane Crash, but winning the Double Danger Tandem Titles should alleviate some of those frustrations. You have to figure that this pair, along with the Sea Amigos, have to be the favorites entering the tournament, but as you all know, anything can happen.

The second team also comes as no surprise, as the only Kaiju Hero that hates the Furious Furries more than American Beetle is Super Wrong, especially after they crippled his best friend Jeremiah the Pink Teddy Bear. So Super Wrong has tapped the awesome power of Dusto Bunny and assembled the Yokosuka Jump Squadron to do battel in the Tournament. With perhaps the most to fight for, and arguably the most powerful Kaiju in the world on their team, the YJS by all accounts should be a major threat, but keep in mind, Super Wrong has never won a match in his Kaiju career, and there hasn't been any indication that he's about to any time soon. With the bracket filled, it's time for you to start your illegal office pools, because this tournament's just about ready to kick off!

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Intern Gets Grade Overturned

After earlier expressing a desire to study abroad, the Hero Intern '08 has found an easier path to graduation to full Hero status. Needing only a few more credits, the Intern was considering milking the Kaiju Internship Program for a free trip to Japan or Singapore, but instead has managed to overturn a grade from a previous semester.

"I took this 'Kaiju in the Kitchen' course a year ago because I thought it was an easy 'A', but man, was I wrong," the Intern told Kaiju.com. "I mean, who knew there was a difference between baking powder and baking soda?" The Intern revealed that he got an "F" in the course for serving raw, uncooked chicken, resulting in an outbreak of salmonella poisoning that left one Kaiju employee dead.

However, Croatian culinary magazine "Ukusan Man" recently published an article stating that, due to recent studies linking charcoal and propane gas to leprosy, raw chicken has become a much more sought-after meal than grilled chicken, which suddenly makes Intern's dish "ahead of its time" and "misunderstood". Intern's grade has since been overturned into an "A", and the pending manslaughter lawsuit by the victim's family has been settled out of court, which means the Intern now has enough credits to take his final exam! Who will he face? We'll find out soon!

Denial of Responsibility of the Week

There were some technical difficulties this past weekend, but Kaiju.com is proud to announce that the issues were not, in fact, our fault. Despite the obvious intentions of our webhost to throw us off our game, Kaiju.com's Cal Ripken-like streak of over 75 days of mistake-free internettery is still going strong.

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