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Valentine Sky Deviler

The Most Romantic Gift of All

Kaiju Valentine's Day Special

Those of you with the RSS feed (or those of you who paid attention to last Monday's question) probably noticed our sweet new Kaiju Mall upgrade last week. We hope you like more great news, because on Saturday, February 14th, we're selling a very special, limited edition Valentine's Day Variant Sky Deviler figurine starting at 6:00pm EST on, you guessed it, Valentine's Day.

So how can you get it? Just use the new, easy-to-navigate Kaiju Mall interface and add the Sky Deviler figurine to your cart. The picture will still show the Kyoho variant, but don't worry. Once it's in your cart, just click the drop-down menu and pick the new Valentine's Day Variant instead, and it's yours!

Got a hot date at 6 PM? Or perhaps you want to grab a Sky Deviler early so you can pretend to have a hot date at 6 PM? Do you live in the northeast United States? Well, why dont you come by the Kaiju "Secret Saturday Shop" between 12 PM and 6 PM on Saturday and pick one up? Where is the "Secret Saturday Shop", you ask? Well, it's a secret, obviously. We can't tell you that. 22 Kent St, Somerville, MA; 12-6 PM, Saturdays only. Woah, what was up with that big gap just now? Must be a programming error. Sorry!

Rogue Reps Announced for Tag Tournament

Details are slowly dripping out about the upcoming Double Danger Tag Tandem Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the Furious Furries' titles. As we already know, the Sea Amigos have already been granted entry into the tournament, but since there is no governing body that rules over the Kaiju Rogues, appointing representatives to the tournament is on a first-come, first-serve application basis.

This week, we've found out the two lucky (and punctual) teams. The first tandem is the intergalactic buccaneer duo of Giii the Space Pirate and Sekmet. It's been a long road to recovery for Sekmet, whom you may recall suffered a devastating leg injury last year in Boston. The monolithic marauder thinks he's ready to go, and his opponents better hope he's mistaken.

Those opponents will be the unexpected duo of Call-Me-Kevin and Vegetius. Call-Me-Kevin has been partnerless since being dumped by the Sea Amigos last summer, but apparently the former Kaiju Champion appears to have found an unlikely ally in the wild beast Vegetius. How did Kevin reach out to the uncivilized monster? Will the alliance hold, or will this new collaboration end much like Call-Me-Kevin's last one? These two teams will do Battel to assure their spot in the bracket, but we still have a few more teams waiting to be announced. Stay tuned to Kaiju.com for updates as they come available!

Report: Potato Tested Positive in 2003

Documents unsealed by the federal government last week have revealed that the late Silver Potato tested positive for steroids in a 2003 drug test. Silver Potato, of course, was a former Kaiju Hero whose career took a tragic turn for the worse when he was brainwashed by Dr. Cube and murdered Pablo Plantain.

However, long before his treachery, Silver Potato was one of the most successful Big Battelers of all time. A former champion in 2003, the Sonic Spud was often the highlight of the night for Kaiju fans, who were constantly wowed by his pop 'n' lock offense and aerial wizardry. But his career, already tainted by the murder of Pablo, met its grisly end when Pedro Plantain had him kidnapped and fed to the Zombie Pablo. Although Silver Potato had disgraced his own legacy already, these new revelations do nothing to help.

Drug tests for Kaiju competitors are now mandatory every four years, but the first round of tests in 2003 were only experimental, and results were not meant to be reported and no one would be punished. News of any failed drug tests were for the Kaiju Commissioner's eyes only, but evidently, somehow the cat got out of the bag six years later. Will other negative tests crop up? We shall see.

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Salbino Stocks Falling Rapidly

A month after becoming publicly-traded, Salbino Industries has already fallen on hard times, as apparently, the global economy is not in very good shape at the moment. Stocks have fallen to 6 cents per share, and although we here at Kaiju.com know nothing about the stock market, by most accounts, that is not a good thing.

"We really should've probably thought about it more," said chairman and CEO Anthony Salbino. "I mean, it certainly seemed like a good idea at the time. I guess we should've paid more attention to that 'worst financial crisis since the Great Depression' stuff a little more."

The company has been forced to cut jobs, effectively reducing the total number of paid employees to three; Anthony, Andy and Nick Salbino. One former employee, Sheamus O'Shaughnessy, is threatening legal action after he claims he was unfairly discriminated against because he wasn't a member of Salbino family. However, O'Shaughnessy denies his termination had anything to do with him being caught stealing money from the petty cash box.

Questions of the Week

Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak? When you open it to speak, are you smart?

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