The Many Faces of Multimoog

Calling Multimoog a piece of trash isn't an insult: the 550-meter Dr. Cube creation is a slapdash construction of spare Portuguese sailor parts, all of which were acquired through Cube's fishy connection with the Merchant Marines. Despite the fact that this assemblage of flotsam and jetsam is a product of egregious military corruption, Moog has been lauded a "perfect example" of recycling-in-action by anti-war activists, tree huggers, and the entire East Coast faction of the Green Party. No one's really sure how it happened, but somewhere along the way, Moog became an unsuspecting hero to hippie jam bands and Patchouli-smelling college kids from Burlington, Vermont to Eugene, Oregon.

But life as reprocessed junkyard candy hasn't always been easy for the counter-cultural leviathan. Multimoog's detachable headpiece is so haphazardly constructed that it doesn't always allow him control over his brain - which makes him the least intelligent of Dr. Cube's monster creations. Though dumb, Moog's not without ambition: citing Lenny from Of Mice and Men, Curly from The Three Stooges, and Lou Farigno as his personal heroes, Multimoog has harbored dreams of silver screen fame ever since snagging a lead role in a remake of Robot Monster, one of Dr. Cube's early home videos. Not surprisingly, Moog's path to film fame has been craggy, since his unreliable facial expressions (his interchangeable head often pops off in moments of extreme excitement) make him virtually unemployable in the disciplined world of acting.

As if his stupidity wasn't enough of a burden, Multimoog is also clumsy. Created to help beef up Dr. Cube's monster forces with more muscle and bouncer-like intimidation, the faded pink beast is so awkward with his elephantine accessories that as a young monster assemblage, he became confined to a wheelchair. Those years of immobility, coupled with seasons of physical therapy administered by a big red rubber ball, caused Multimoog to develop a deep inferiority complex, as well as a ferocious appetite for destruction. To this day, red balls are like Kryptonite to Multimoog, capable of evoking the most unpleasant memory of his disability and weakening him into a lifeless, sniveling pulp. Phys Ed experts speculate that Multimoog would be Michael Jordan of the kickball diamond if his irrational red-rubber-ball fear could ever be worked out in therapy. Unfortunately, Cube has yet to find the salmon beast a good therapist.