Dai Hachi Hachi Delivers the Killer Kick to Cycloptopuss

2 out of the 3-Way

Three-Way Caught on Tape

The controversial three-way dance featuring Super Wrong, Dai Hachi Hachi, and D.W. Cycloptopuss III at the X-Box 360 Zero Hour Launch Party has reached urban folklore status. Some have called it a righteous explosion of Big Battel action, while others have dubbed it a sordid, yet sultry affair. The Kaiju Commissioner has decided to end all the debate by preparing a special Bideo package that captures all that was good, bad, and just plain wrong with this three-way dance.

The Zero Hour Three-Way Battel video is more than just an entertaining peek into the world of forbidden Kaiju action, though. It's a preview of the hi-jinx hitting the Hynes Center in Boston on May 26th, when Kaiju Big Battel invades Anime Boston 2006. This full-fledged Big Battel will feature all the Kaiju factions, including Team Space Bug, Dr. Cube's Posse, the Heroes, and the Kaiju Rogues in a colossal clash. What's more, Dr. Cube has made the bold promise that a beloved Kaiju "must die" before the night is through. The only way to find out who will meet their grizzly end is to be there yourself, and the only way to gain Big Battel admission is by buying your Anime Boston 2006 ticket today!

Kaiju Big Battel at Anime Boston 2006
Who: Dr. Cube, Uchu Chu the Space Bug, Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle, Los Plantanos, Super Wrong, Shrooma Tango, The Apes of Wraths, Vegetius, Powa Ranjuru, RoBox, and more...
Where: Anime Boston 2006, Hynes Convention Center, Boston, MA
When: Friday May 26th
Tickets: http://www.animeboston.com/registration

Kaiju Monsters Everywhere, Hoboken, NJ

Fresh from their daily exploits on G4TV's Action Blast, the Beav and Louden Noxious are bringing the Kaiju party to Hoboken, NJ as they host musical guests Poison Ivy League and Mixel Pixel in a night of music, video installations, and monster appearances at Maxwell's on Thursday April 20th. The Kaiju Commissioner has emphasized that there will be no full-scale Battels allowed at this event, saying "The monsters of Kaiju Big Battel will be in attendance to dispel the notion that all they do is fight inside a steel cage. Instead, a variety of Kaiju monsters will host a night of musical acts, a video installation featuring the latest Kaiju Battels from G4TV's Action Blast, and excerpts from the much anticipated forthcoming DVD, Kaiju Big Battel: More Better Fighto."

Need convincing that this Kaiju rally will be a super fun-fun time? Check out this picture show from the recent Kaiju Rally at the Middle East Club.

Kaiju Rally at Maxwell's
Who: Kaiju Big Battel Party with musical guests Poison Ivy League and Mixel Pixel
Where: Maxwell's, 1039 Washington Street, Hoboken NJ 07302
When: Thursday April 20th
Doors: 8:30pm, $8.00

Work with Kaiju

The Kaiju Commissioner is proud to welcome Jesse Neumann as the newest assistant video editor to Team Kaiju. There is only one remaining video intern position remaining. Want to intern at Kaiju this summer? Check out the Kaiju Jobs listings.

Dino Kang Crashes

The North Dakota State Police have reported that Dino Kang Jr. crashed Dr. Cube's limousine this past Sunday night in downtown Fargo. An eye witness reported that the cute but sinister Kang was "driving like a maniac" when he lost control and sideswiped a police cruiser. A police spokesperson said that "drugs and alcohol are not believed to be a factor in the accident, but you try administering a breathalyzer to a ferociously cute (or is it cutely ferocious?) monster."

Amazingly enough, nobody, including 3 female passengers, were injured in the crash. The lone casualty was Dino Kang himself. Although Kang walked away without a physical scratch, the accident has led to the once top henchman of Dr. Cube falling out of favor with the psychotic surgeon. In fact, ever since the incident, Dr. Cube has shunned Dino Kang in favor of his newest monster creation, Shrooma Tango, who despite his top-heavy, mushroom-like head and lack of eyes, is reportedly an excellent driver.

Fight for Right is On

Uchu Chu the Space Bug has challenged Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle to a fight for the right to take on Dr. Cube for the Kaiju Championship Belt at the upcoming Battel. Soup has accepted the challenge and both fighters have agreed that this officially unsanctioned fight will determine the number one contender. The winner will fight Dr. Cube on May 26th for the Championship Belt. The loser will be banned from all the remaining Big Battels in 2006.

Question of the Week

What's the New 3-Eyed Monster's Name?

Ask the Commissioner

Dear K Comm:

What does Cube do for a living? I mean, does he have, like, a day job? Because I bet he needs lots of loot to pay for all those monsters and his minion militia and stuff. Give it to me straight.

-Tommy G.

ps: Word on the return of Silver Potato.

Dear Thomas:

That is a very good question. Since I am not good with math, I forwarded your question to our resident Cube expert, Dr. Jean-Paul Buckley. I have posted Jean-Paul's insightful response below.

Your Friend,
The Kaiju Commissioner

"An army of a million Minions and another army of giant city crushing monsters certainly costs money, a resource that Dr. Cube has in seemingly unlimited supply. Cube has amassed huge, incalculable sums of Dollars, Yens, Euros, Dinars, Ngultrums, Pesos, Rupees, Rubles, and Riyals through donations from generous supporters, not to mention annual dues from all official members of Dr. Cube's Posse. Much of Cube's cash flow comes from confiscated property and art treasures. Cube's Minions almost always loot the banks, museums, and police stations of cities, unfortunate enough to play host to a Kaiju clash. These victory spoils combined with Dr. Cube's merchandise revenue have filled Cube's coffers to the point of overflow. Even so, Dr. Cube does not stop there.

Cube is a shroud businessman; he has established over 1,010 separate corporate entities all over the world. These Cube sponsored corporations profit from everything from poisoned dog food to Cube-branded Molotov Cocktails. The earnings from Cube's corporate endeavors are plowed back into his army of Minions and giant city-crushing monsters. Thus, Cube is able to continually feed the powerhouse of evil known as Dr. Cube's Posse."

Do you have a question for the Commissioner? Email it to commissioner@kaiju.com?