Kaiju Tools Get Email Updates Buy Kaiju's Debut Book Discuss Email this page
Kaiju Big Battel
Hero Intern Greets Fan at Xbox 360 Zero Hour Launch Event

Tattoed vegans love the Hero Intern

Hero Intern A Success

The Kaiju Commissioner's approval rating has increased exponentially after the success of the Hero Intern program at the recent Zero Hour Big Battel at the Xbox 360 Launch Event in the Mojave Desert. The Hero Intern beat Call-Me-Kevin after 10 minutes of fierce, but fair fighting. The Intern exhibited all the behaviors of a worthy Kaiju Hero: good sportsmanship, physical fitness, a willingness to autograph fans' faces, and some well-coordinated teamwork with American Beetle. American Beetle successfully taught the Hero Intern the fundamentals of the fighto, and now the Hero Intern will continue his training under the watchful eyes of Pablo and Pedro Plantain. Los Plantanos aim to teach the Hero Intern the ways of jungle warfare and how to avoid common Big Battel pitfalls including the Apes of Wrath's evil tricks.

Learn more about the Hero Intern's epic debut, in the newly minted Zero Hour Big Battel Commentary. There's coverage of all the evenings Battels and full color photos, plus explosive information about the new co-number one contenders for the Big Battel Belt.

Uchu Escapes

Team Space Bug's Uchu Chu and Mota Naru escaped from Dr. Cube's secret sea lab yesterday. Unibouzu and Call-Me-Kevin of the Sea Amigos, unknowingly came to the rescue of the Space Bugs by destroying the compound's ADT security system. It appears the Amigos decided to trash the sea lab as payback for their defeat by Cube's Posse at the Zero Hour Big Battel. Evidence suggests that the Sea Amigos did not intentionally free Mota and Uchu, and the bugs' escape was a matter good timing and coincidental vandalism. Uchu and Mota escaped unharmed and have re-united with the rest of Team Space Bug at their new H.I.V.E. (Huge Intergalactic Vehicle Environment) base. The late Sky Deviler's egg was not in the underwater detention center and still remains in the hands of Dr. Cube.

Kaiju Mall Madness

Tis' the season for giving cool, but useless, gifts to your friends and family. If you place your Kaiju Mall orders by 5PM on December 15th, your Kaiju goodies will arrive in time for JC's B-day, the end of Hanukah, and/or the Kwanza miracle.

Top Ten Kaiju Gifts

  1. Los Plantanos Solidarity Prints
  2. Limited Edition Cube Recruitment Prints
  3. Japanese Kaiju Fan Book
  4. New Nano magnets
  5. Dr. Cube mask
  6. Triple pack of monster meat
  7. Dr. Cube Propaganda Pack
  8. DVD/T-shirt combo deal
  9. Cube Comminionist Print
  10. New Magnet Packs

Coming soon to a Kaiju Mall near you: Sea Amigos shirts, Los Plantanos Solidarity shirts and Dr. Cube zip-up hoodies.

Nun-Chucks A-OK in KO

All is fair in love and Kaiju. The Kaiju Commissioner has reminded the Kaiju community that although weapons are not encouraged in the Big Battel, they are permitted. Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle was aware of the rules of engagement and took full advantage of a pair of nun-chucks to defeat Kaiju Hero Neo Teppen at the Zero Hour Big Battel. The Kaiju Message Board was awash with cries of foul play by Soup, but the fact remains: Soup was the winner of the Kung-Fu Fury match. Neo Teppen has made no comment and Kung-Fu has made no apologies.

Question of the Week

Where does D.W. Cycloptopuss III like to party?

Pre-Order the Shocking Truth DVD

Super Wrong Controversy

Last month, Kaiju Hero Super Wrong earned his first ever win in a three-way dance involving Dai Hachi Hachi and D.W. Cycloptopuss III. The Sea Amigos however have protested the win and appealed to the KRC to conduct a investigation into the "questionable nature" of the win. The Sea Amigos claim that assistance by Powa Ranjuru and Super Wrong's ingestion of Powa's magical red pixie dust, street name "Fairy Flash," are grounds for disqualification. In the event that the KRC finds Super Wrong guilty of wrong-doing, the Kaiju Hero could be stripped of his only victory to date. The KRC Cheating Commission is schedule to announce their findings before the end of the year. The odds are against Super Wrong: Kaiju bookies are betting 78 to 1 that Super Wrong will be disqualified.

Minion Militia Documentary Announced

Famed documentary filmmaker and cult anthropologist, Dr. Jean-Paul Buckley has formally announced that he will begin a new in-depth study of the Minion Militia phenomenon that is silently sweeping the world. The worldwide network of the Minion Militia is made up of humans who pledge allegiance to Dr. Cube, but remain free-thinking individuals as opposed to the lobotomized zombie-like Minions of Dr. Cube's Posse.

"My mission to understand the Minion Militia will be a complex matter. This is a mysterious and clandestine subject. I have already received late night telephone threats not to 'put my nose too deep if I know what's good for me,'" reports Buckley. "I won't cow-tow to Cube's terrorists tactics." Filming is scheduled to begin next month at an undisclosed Minion Militia camp in the Swiss Alps.

Bottom Border